Tuesday, June 27, 2017

i'm wrong (and it's awful) but i'm learning


the other day I got called out.
callllleeeeddd out.
errrrrrrrrgggggg

me, perfect little Elissa, the all time people-pleasing-kiss-up has a plank in my eye.
and I was called on it.

and as much as it stinks and I feel weird and defensive about it,
it humbles me in a very uncomfortable way.

soooo I'm learning to loose the log.
I'm learning to stop and evaluate why I think the way I do.

I'm learning humility,
the word Jesus has been impressing on my heart.

I'm learning to receive correction with grace.

so I was wrong.
and it is awful.
but I'm learning.
oh how I'm learning.

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

free at last


well, I turned in my last paper of junior year.
I watched some of my best friends throw their caps into the air.
we took our bow together.
the announcements are on the fridge. 

and we're free for summer. 
we're ready for beaches
long walks
shopping
sleeping in 

I'm ready to rest. 
my room needs a deep cleaning. 
the world weighs heavily on me.
I need some sun.

although I'm free,
I need Jesus. 
his stability calls to me, 
begging me to submit myself to his timing. 
his schedule. 
his freedom. 
oh how I find rest in his freedom. 


Thursday, June 8, 2017

chasing pink sky

today I am so cranky.
I've been a jerk and fought with my mom.
I've snapped and cracked.
errrr.
I just feel gross,
you know?

I'm tired.
Physically and mentally.

I've danced for what feels like fifty days in a row.
I've bottled bottled bottled emotion.
I'm bracing myself to say goodbye to dear friends and
I just.
don't.
want.
to.
I feel poor and I need to buy: makeup, a planner, sunglasses, and a phone case.
I thought I would be done with school today and I'm not.


It rained all day today,
which felt like a constant reminder of my inside state.
When I was driving home tonight after ballet,
it was still wet.
But it was also lighter than usual for 9pm.
To the left, it was dark and stormy and grey.
The right, however, was pink and yellow and blue.

I would glance through the empty streets of our little town, and see pink sky.
warm, saturated, sky.

You know, we serve a God of reckless grace.
Big, bright, beautiful grace that showers us when we humble ourselves before our God.

today, I'm thankful for grace.
I'm thankful for doughnuts and coffee.
I'm thankful for tears, however embarrassing or inconvenient they may be.
today, I'm choosing to chase the God who paints the sky pink.


Tuesday, June 6, 2017

be _______

be brave.
stop hiding in fear of screwing up.
stop protecting every inch of your design.
you can do it.

be bold.
start speaking life into others.
if the word is cold,
warm it with your flame.

be strong.
don't let fear get the best of you.
you contain more power and influence
than you will ever know.

be kind.
choose your words with grace.
little eyes are watching-
be the person you wished you had in your life.