You guys, I finished biology and English.
I know!!! *This is where you applaud*
It has been one of the longest, hardest school years of my life. I spent many, many, many, long hours hunched over a laptop or sitting at my kitchen table smelling brain smoke. My eyeballs have felt like they were on fire from all the work mean-old-me was making them do. I'm sure my teachers are excited to finally stop receiving five e-mail's from me, per week.
Last week was the academic award ceremony/graduation of the seniors. It was long and I was ready to go home, take of my bra and make-up, curl up to do some Facebook stalking. The redeeming factor was the little stack of certificates and a ugly plack.
....... Honor Roll
Chapel Team....
.....Peer Tudor..
....Student of the Year...
It was a satisfying feeling to stick those in my portfolio.
When the buzz-buzz of alarm number three went off the next morning, math was the first thing on the "productive agenda".
The math that I got seriously behind in, and will be doing for the next month or so. And even though my teachers told me nice things, and I was given congratulatory hugs, and I had a nice stack of papers; you guys, I felt like a failure.
A very stupid failure.
Someone who didn't get a single top grade.
Someone who abandoned her French.
Someone who was the stupid child who would never graduate high school, all because she didn't get her lazy butt to do Algebra.
And I invited those stupid lies into my heart. I let them hang out.
And let me tell you, they made themselves very comfortable. And they called in their friends.
I'm not going to go into the gritty details, but it wasn't a fun place.
You guys, I am not the very-stupidest-person-to-ever-crawl-the-earth.
I am not a failure to my teachers.
I am a hard worker, who's high standards are my demise.
I am a valuable and loved child to my parents.
My friends believe in me, and don't dwell in my flaws.
Most importantly, I am perfect and complete servant before my God.
What about you?
Are you the "disappointment child"?
The "ugly duckling"?
The "worst friend ever"?
No. You are not. You are not to lost, to wrong, or to 'whatever' to change the world.
Your demands of yourself may be working against your design from God. Now, I'm not saying dedication and perseverance are wrong or bad. I think these are some of the most important character traits to develop. But if you are like me, and let lies sneak in because of this, hear me.
No good can come from listening and believing lies.
Remember- we are works in progress in God's timing. Not our own.